Trigger Warning: This story discusses suicide.
On the tenth anniversary of his younger brother’s suicide (14th Jan), Mitch McPherson has reflected on the pain of loss and the mission that has grown out of it.
In a heartfelt letter to his late brother Ty, McPherson expresses his longing for the brother he lost and the role Ty has played in giving him purpose.
“I wish you were here for our family who loved you and will always love you,” McPherson wrote. “I wish you were here to be an uncle and celebrate the big and small moments with us. I wish you were here to be my brother, and most importantly I just wish you were here to be my friend.”
McPherson has channeled his grief into action by founding mental health organization, Stay ChatTY. Through the organization, McPherson has been able to make a difference in the lives of others and find solace in knowing that his brother’s legacy lives on through the work of the organization.
“I’m doing my best to take comfort in knowing that while you couldn’t find a way to get through your pain, you sparked something in me to go forward and help others to get through theirs,” McPherson said.
Stay ChatTY has been recognized for its impact and has won numerous awards. McPherson believes that his brother would be proud of the organization’s achievements.
McPherson has learned to take care of himself while remaining committed to his work with Stay ChatTY. He is now married with two children and has a good balance between self-care and his “purpose in life” with the organization.
Mental health is a cause that is close to McPherson’s heart, as he wishes he had known more about it when his brother was still alive. He remains dedicated to raising awareness and helping others through Stay ChatTY.
READ MITCH’S FULL MESSAGE:
When you’re thrown in harsh world of suicide you are confronted by many things.
It can bring anger, deep sadness, guilt and despair.
It also inevitably brings so much change, tears, darkness and it brings a world you never ever knew and never foresaw becoming your reality.
Ultimately, it brings a pain you never ever thought you’d feel and one that you’d give anything to trade, erase or negotiate your way out of.
In the midst of that first few days I recall a comment said to me: “This pain you feel sadly will never go away, in time you’ll just continue to find ways to bear it.”
I remember thinking: “But how? How will I ever live without him? How will my life ever be the same?”
I also distinctly recall thinking to myself, this could take 10 years until I’m ever ok again.
Well, here I am 10 years on! And while the pain is different, it’s very much still there.
On this anniversary I am still filled with so much pain and sadness.
I wish you were here for our family who loved you and will always love you.
I wish you were here to be an uncle and celebrate the big and small moments with us.
I wish you were here to be my brother, and most importantly I just wish you were here to be my friend.
But I’m doing my best to take comfort in knowing that while you couldn’t find a way to get through your pain, you sparked something in me to go forward and help others to get through theirs.
Ten years on, I could never have imagined my life as it now looks, and the things I’ve been able to achieve with Stay ChatTY.
The change we’ve been able to make, the people who have been a part of Stay ChatTY’s growth and continue to be, the conversations we have sparked, the stories courageously shared, the awareness raised, the lives positively impacted, and most amazingly and importantly, the lives saved.
I’m feeling grateful for everyone that’s supported myself, our family and friends this past 10 years.
I’m also grateful to everyone I’ve met on this Stay ChatTY journey; who has shared sadness with me, showed vulnerability and trusted me to support them or someone they love, where I can.
We have come so far, but we still have so far to go…
You gave me purpose little brother, and your smile on my heart gives me strength every day.
I’ve carried your legacy for the last ten years, and I promise I’d do it for a million more ❤️
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
